Dear God,
I feel You closer to me and I like it. When I do good, I remember that inside of me lives a part of You. You left Your mark on me and because of that I am happy.
I am sad now, but I see the sky and I feel soothed. Not better, but soothed and that's enough. I don't mind feeling sad; in fact I prefer to feel it because there is not much I feel. All my emotions are wrong. I can't quite process stimuli.
Sometimes I wonder if there actually is something wrong with me. There are voices in my head I am not sure are mine. At the same time I see myself with a mental birth defect, I contemplate the thoughts You arise in my mind and I can't help but think You created me perfectly, even in my flaws. All my flaws are steps on which You make me grow and some exist to create likeability by vulnerability.
In everything I think I'm awesome and terrible at the same time. I'm terrible cause I don't know all of it; I'm awesome cause I know more than most -so the voices in my head tell me. My ego tells me I'm great at the same time it says ''don't trust yourself''. I recognize I'm wrong, but I can't help feeling ordinarily awesome.
You created all the atoms of where I'm stepping on. You designed how thoughts would work and why hearts would beat. For that, I thank You, cause all of Your systems amaze me. You gave life a meaning and a model. You created everything when there was nothing to inspire You. You are the greatest mind and simply the Greatest. When I think about how all the universe is contained in You... all of that is probably just an inch of Your heart. When this world is Yours again there will be no words, just praises in languages we do not yet know.
I love You.
